Have you ever had one of those thoughts that just blew your mind but then you realize it’s just a really basic idea? Maybe it’s just me? And people wrongly assume I’m smarter than I am? (Bless my heart.)
The other day while putting up some of my husband’s laundry (brb, I actually just remembered that I needed to put the wash in the dryer), I had this thought: I’m going to be Chad’s ONLY WIFE. Short of him finally killing me for doing one of my very few annoying traits like occasionally snoring in a cute kind of way, or asking him to switch cars with me because I’ve been driving around on E for 3 days, he’s probably never going to have another wife. He will never have another opportunity to be more loved than my love for him.
This felt shocking to me. I’m his best bet at unconditional, empowering, doting love. Not only would I never WANT another woman to love him better than I do (unless, of course, in the event of my untimely death), he’s never going to even get the chance at experiencing anything better than me!
Like I said…it was one of those simple ideas that really blew my mind.
I felt really called to action at that moment.
My husband, Chad, and I had several years of close friendship before the curtain was lifted and we realized we loved each other. And that’s always such a great place to return to when the “home fires” get a little cold, as they occasionally do in any long-term relationship. Because I have this underpinning of true friendship love for him, I typically can’t help but just want good for him. This really helps motivate my marital love. I am his best shot at experiencing life-giving, fulfilling, out-of-this-world love. And I really want him to know and live that kind of love! So this means that sometimes I gotta step my game up!
What about you? Do you ever need to re-evaluate your wife skills and step your game up?
Here are a couple questions to ponder:
- When’s the last time you did something nice for him…just because?
- Do you show enthusiasm for his victories and efforts…big and small?
- Is there anything you used to do to show him you loved him that you haven’t done in a while?
- Have you gotten into any bad communication habits like bombarding him with to-do’s when he walks in the door or spouting off complaints, criticisms, or general negativity?
- Is there anything you’ve done lately (intentionally or unintentionally) that he may have taken as disrespect?
- How’s your ratio between encouragement and complaint?
- Do you like the culture you help co-create in your home?
- When’s the last time you prayed for God to let you thrill for your husband’s touch?
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one around here who needs to step her game up! But if not…
If you ever want to talk about stepping up your “wife-game” or anything else, feel free to contact me here for an appointment time. Also, to those of you reading this who are thinking: Allison…not only have the “home fires run cold…it’s like a freezer in here!” Let’s talk. There may yet be hope. There almost always is!
Counseling sessions available in Walker and two locations in Baton Rouge.
(Photo credit for this cute picture of Mr. Schoonmaker: The September Company.)